Sometimes jumping at opportunities helps make something of yourself, even if you're not sure where the opportunities will lead you. I kind of had an idea long ago of what I wanted to do in life, but I never owned up to it. I guess I lived life for the moment, and I just wasn't ready to grow up yet. I'm still not, but not too long ago, my Id spoke to me and told me that what I'm doing with my life RIGHT NOW is not what I'm supposed to be doing for the rest of my life. Doors opened, and now I'm walking through. It's a little scary.
I turned in my resignation notice yesterday for my job, even though I don't have another job lined up. Scary in itself, right? Yeah, I'm going on faith that something will fall into my lap (with some effort) or I'll just sign up for some job like serving, again. Either way, I have 2 screwed up emotions announcing themselves inside me: excitement and fear. I'm excited that I will be leaving the hell-hole of a job I landed years ago and starting school full time but scared because I won't have the safety cushion anymore. I won't have a big pay check that I can spend on what I want because I'll have to budget. I won't have my benefits; I won't have holidays. I won't have the weekends off, and I'll hardly ever get to see my friends or family in NC. That's a lot to give up. A LOT.
Two years. That's how long the sacrifice will be. Two. It doesn't seem like a huge number, but it's also 104 weeks or 728 days, etc. Even so, who's to say that after making such a sacrifice that I will even be able to graduate in that time? Here's where the scary part kicks back in. People tell me I'm smart... I'm brave... I have nothing to worry about... and I'm on the right track, but that's easy to say when you're not the one doing it. *sigh* Living in the moment doesn't help me to see the ends I will reach with such sacrifices. I am impatient and want to see them now.
A thought.
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