Friends or More?

It all began when Sabur kidnapped me and stole me for the weekend. I only thought I would be gone for a day, but it ended up being 3. A few days before, Sabur tells me that he has family coming into town, and I made the suggestion that I stay with Todd (our mutual friend) who lives about 5 minutes away. I pretty much spent the entire weekend with Todd, but Sabur stopped by to visit and we went or hung out at times, but at night, I was with Todd. The first night I asked him if I could share a bed with him. I like sharing beds with people... especially if I like them. We snuggled (very well). It was good snuggling. The next weekend I figured I'd give Todd a call to see what he's doing. He said he was supposed to hang out with someone, but they hadn't called him back so he called me over. Needless to say, I stayed at his house again (just snuggling). I won't deny that by this time that I wanted to jump his bones, but something just told me that I shouldn't because I don't know if this person has feelings for me.

I've been struggling with how to say this the past few days. How do you tell someone you like them more than as a friend without ruining the friendship? "I like you," seems dull and uninteresting. I'm not trying to say "I love you," but I want to say it with some meaning so that he knows I'm interested in him as a person and not just for the sex part. Thinking back now on my history with Todd, there was a time when he acted like he was really interested in me, but I'm not sure if that still exists. He hasn't been in a relationship since then and neither have I. Also, it was just hinted a couple of times. On the other hand, Sabur tells me that Todd is a very picky person, that he has high standards and as a result he hasn't had a date in a long time. Ay carumba! I'm not perfect, and those words right there do not offer any encouragement of professing my interest in this person.

The bottom line is that I want to have a relationship with this guy. I'm tired of just jumping into the sex part and then finding out later that my interests was all for nothing. Sure I enjoy the sex while it lasts, but it has no fulfillment in the end. What's it worth if I don't have someone that I feel close to? We are just f*ck buddies at that point, and I never have been able to accept that, especially with someone that I like. So either I tell him how I feel and risk losing our friendship or I just move on and forget this butterfly feeling that I have every time I'm around him.