Closing Gaps and Taking Naps?

I had to chop off a lot of Ana's hair the other day. She's been nibbling herself and it became matted. Her short tail hair makes her look even skinnier, and I told her she looks like a boy. Peter watched her for me while I was in NC this past weekend, and he told me when I got back that Ana had jumped the fence not once, but twice in two consecutive days! Neither of us knew how until today. While I was saying goodbye to John, she slid through a slit in the fence. It wasn't connected to the neighbor's fence. I can't believe she gave up her secret that easily. I went to Home Depot, bought zip ties, and fixed the fence so now she won't get out... until she tramples upon another hole. Darn dog.

On a side note, I'm avoiding my homework. I'm sick and I'm tired. I should probably take a nap. I have a lot of homework to do, though. *sigh*

So close yet so far away...

I went to an observatory yesterday with other SPS (Society of Physic Students) members. If you've never had the opportunity to look through a $20,000 telescope, I sincerely suggest taking the time to find one. In one clear evening, I laid eyes upon Jupiter so clearly that I could see striations from the gas clouds and four of its moons. I also observed a globular cluster, the moon, and the nearest galaxy to our own (Milky Way): Andromeda. The stars seem so close, but when you look at the nearest galaxy and it's close to 2 million light years away, you begin to put yourself in perspective. I was looking at 2 million year old light... that's how far away the galaxy is.

That's not the only thing that I feel so close to yet so far away. Relationships have been sort of thrown in the air since I moved to Tucker, and though I have formed new ones, I'm not sure how to label them. Maybe I shouldn't... I'm not really sure. My problem being that if I label my new relationships there is the potentiality that I may interrupt our blissful lives as they are. I can't be too finite on this subject because well I'm not open to admitting my feelings on this matter at the moment, but let's just say that there's a gap in my path, and I feel comfortable enough to jump it only I'm not sure that's the path I want to take.

Decisions, decisions.

Sayonara Ok Cupid

Dating is disappointing. I send messages to potential dates, and we seem to hit it off. Then we meet, and they're a let down. I read about them, I talk to them, and then when I see how they are in person, they're different. Either they look nothing like their pictures, or they're nothing like what they say their personality is like. I actually had one guy tell me on our date that he dropped out of college because he "didn't feel like putting in the effort." Wow. *sarcastic* Where has he been all of my life?!? I had another date last weekend meeting a Tucker local. The date started off well, but out of the blue, he says that he met someone at some bar in Tucker a few days after he met me, and later found her on Ok Cupid so he said he was checking me out "for [his] roommate." Please pass me, the table scraps, to the next lonely male... NOT!

So this is it. This is my good-bye letter to Ok Cupid. I'm not deleting my profile; I'm just going away for a while. I'm going to join society and meet guys the old fashioned way, and perhaps this time I will meet someone who is slightly more sane than all the others I've ran into online. Sayonara Ok Cupid.

It's a weakness; so shoot me.

Despite the fact that I try to control my emotions, some just boil enough to reach a certain point of overflow, enough to make me go insane. Anger just happens to be one of them. I never stand up for what I believe is true unless I'm absolutely sure, and when I'm not so sure, I always back down. I'm just a push over like that, and it hardly ever happens that I am completely and accurately correct. So when I know I'm right, you better believe I'm not backing down without a fight... even it means I have to hold it against you. I will forever believe I am correct until you can prove otherwise.

Here's just a reminder:

You Can't Win Them All

Peter says I'm being pouty, but I think he just says that to pick on me and make me feel better. While he's being stuck and pumping out the life juice, I'm sitting on the sidelines wearing a sticker that says, "Be nice to me... I TRIED to give blood today."

Today would be the third time I've been denied to give blood because of my iron level. I suppose I'm a little upset because I tried so hard to do it right this time by eating healthier, and even though my iron level was within range, I was told that I missed their minimum by 1%. One percent!

As I was handed back my blood donor card, I felt my eyes get teared up. I fought it. I just didn't want people to see me getting all melancholy over not being able to give blood. After walking around the mall for a half hour or so, we go back home. I moped around, trying to cope with not being able to give blood today. Why am I so upset?

Giving blood is one thing I always associated with as a contribution to society. I don't feel like I've made any kind of difference or contribution. The one time I try to do some voluntary good deed I'm denied. It's depressing.

Peter bought me something to cheer me up, and I took it, but it doesn't fill the part of my heart that wants to give.