Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I don't feel any different than I did before the holiday. I think I should. Mom and Dad drove down to visit John and me for the holiday this year, and it was the first Thanksgiving we had together in many, many years. I always call them on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and such, but I always feel that face time with my parents is more valuable. However, things have changed.
I feel weird around them now. Sure, I think about my parents from time to time, but I don't phone them as often I have in the past. When I do see my parents, I have trouble just talking and even worse... making polite conversation. I barely see them more than 3 times a year, and that's usually if there is a special reason.
I have recently been reading Carl Sagan's Contact novel, and the main character, Ellie, is much like myself; she's a workaholic who has terrible relationships and carelessly forgets to spend time with family. So I have asked myself some questions:
Am I estranging myself from my parents?
Slowly, yes, I believe so. Inadvertently, I began separating myself from my parents when I moved to Atlanta.
How did it come to this? Apparently, I have forgotten how to socialize with people, even my own parents. My parents are supposed to be the closest people to me, and now we are nearly strangers.
Would I ever move back to NC?
Probably not. By comparison, Atlanta has far more opportunities and has a culture I couldn't experience in NC. Plus, I don't think I could ever convince John to move, to NC at least; he is happy here with his friends and family.
Is there anything I can do to stop this feeling?
I don't feel like there is. Sure, I could call them more, but I can barely carry on a conversation with them in person much less on a phone.
I know someone out there would say "yes" - that I can stop this feeling, but at this point in my life, I can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Something that bothers me...
A while back, I had decided that I was going to start a "Things people do that annoy me..." list, but in trying to keep an optimistic view on life, I decided against it. However, I will mention this one curious behavior that some humans have a tendency to do. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but it can be quite frustrating.
Why is that when a group of people who are walking in the opposite direction of you on a sidewalk fail to share the sidewalk with you, a single person? Do they fail to notice me or do they just not care?
Why is that when a group of people who are walking in the opposite direction of you on a sidewalk fail to share the sidewalk with you, a single person? Do they fail to notice me or do they just not care?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Birds
I like where my desk is. By a window. On sunny days and sometimes even wetter days, I like to open the blind as high as I can and watch the world go by as I type or read away. I like to make up stories of passers-by or animals or insects I see frolicking about. Birds especially love our yard after a fresh mowing.
I watched a bird today. A black bird. Have you ever been curious about a bird's actions? He (it's a he in my mind) would take a few steps and peck at the ground. Was he picking up some bug to eat or was he searching? Do birds actually poke their beaks into the ground for bugs or do they look before they peck? If birds look before they peck, then he was quite hungry. He pecked a path about 3 meters long. Birds must have large stomachs. =D
I watched a bird today. A black bird. Have you ever been curious about a bird's actions? He (it's a he in my mind) would take a few steps and peck at the ground. Was he picking up some bug to eat or was he searching? Do birds actually poke their beaks into the ground for bugs or do they look before they peck? If birds look before they peck, then he was quite hungry. He pecked a path about 3 meters long. Birds must have large stomachs. =D
Monday, July 20, 2009
UCF: Day 63
Location: Lake Claire Apartments
Two things:
(1) On nights when I spoon out sherbert, while I'm walking back to my room, I always try to lick the spoon. The funny part is that my tongue always gets stuck to the bottom of the spoon like that kid Flick's tongue does to the pole when he's dared to lick it in A Christmas Story. I always end up ripping the spoon off my tongue like velcro. Luckily, no damage has been done as of yet.
(2) I forgot the other thing.
Two things:
(1) On nights when I spoon out sherbert, while I'm walking back to my room, I always try to lick the spoon. The funny part is that my tongue always gets stuck to the bottom of the spoon like that kid Flick's tongue does to the pole when he's dared to lick it in A Christmas Story. I always end up ripping the spoon off my tongue like velcro. Luckily, no damage has been done as of yet.
(2) I forgot the other thing.
UCF: Day 62
Location: Lake Claire Apartments
We went to Disney World today. I had a blast. Disney World seems much more fun as an adult. It truly is the happiest place on Earth. I found myself dancing around and marching to the music all day long, and I never tired in the 11 hours that we spent in the park. The funniest part by far was when we went to the Monsters Inc Laugh Floor show, and Peter Martin was picked out of the audience to play "Sully" as part of a joke. We all figured he was picked because of his bushy beard. He made some faces on the screen that everyone in the theater could see, and I laughed so hard that tears came streaming down my face. I wiped my eyes so much that I got a little sunscreen in them, but it didn't burn all that bad. I was just too ecstatic about the laugh floor show.
We went to Disney World today. I had a blast. Disney World seems much more fun as an adult. It truly is the happiest place on Earth. I found myself dancing around and marching to the music all day long, and I never tired in the 11 hours that we spent in the park. The funniest part by far was when we went to the Monsters Inc Laugh Floor show, and Peter Martin was picked out of the audience to play "Sully" as part of a joke. We all figured he was picked because of his bushy beard. He made some faces on the screen that everyone in the theater could see, and I laughed so hard that tears came streaming down my face. I wiped my eyes so much that I got a little sunscreen in them, but it didn't burn all that bad. I was just too ecstatic about the laugh floor show.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
UCF: Days 60-61
Location: Lake Claire Apartments
Craig and Maria V invited me to a crazy BBQ at Craig's place last night. It was fun to hang out with all the Gauss program people outside of the MAP building as well as some other people that I've come to meet since my stay here. It's kind of sad that I'm finally getting to the point where I feel like friendships are budding and knowing that I will be leaving in two weeks. I will miss them.
I didn't do too much today except some cardio and yoga and then a bike ride to Moe's for some protein. After an afternoon nap, Melissa took me to Target so I could buy a duffle bag for some stuff I need to take back and some blankets for the parents-to-be - Dr. Tamasan and his wife. I have put off doing laundry today, and I shouldn't have. We are going to Disney World tomorrow and I should be resting. I think I will go very soon so that I can make sure to get a good night's rest tonight.
Craig and Maria V invited me to a crazy BBQ at Craig's place last night. It was fun to hang out with all the Gauss program people outside of the MAP building as well as some other people that I've come to meet since my stay here. It's kind of sad that I'm finally getting to the point where I feel like friendships are budding and knowing that I will be leaving in two weeks. I will miss them.
I didn't do too much today except some cardio and yoga and then a bike ride to Moe's for some protein. After an afternoon nap, Melissa took me to Target so I could buy a duffle bag for some stuff I need to take back and some blankets for the parents-to-be - Dr. Tamasan and his wife. I have put off doing laundry today, and I shouldn't have. We are going to Disney World tomorrow and I should be resting. I think I will go very soon so that I can make sure to get a good night's rest tonight.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
UCF: Day 57-59
Location: Lake Claire Apartments
Well somehow I missed a few days and I can't figure out where. Unfortunate. It has been really difficult to keep up this blog because I work all day and then come back to the apartment dead beat. All I want to do in the evening is relax while eating a meal before heading to bed.
Today felt like a rather productive day, though I did not work on my research one bit. We came to some depressing conclusions yesterday. Our analysis of the family of linear ODE's is not applicable to the family of non-linear ODE's. So we will only be reporting on the first half. Dr. Tamasan didn't have time to meet today so he said we will meet tomorrow to wrap up some theoretical work from way back. Then I will be responsible for typing up more work in LaTeX. The productive part of my day was that I spent time studying for the GRE. I worked examples all day long - well, about 6 hours total.
Stephanie, Melissa, and Vicky bought their Disney World tickets today so I am more relieved about going now. I bought mine last week because we had decided to go this past weekend, but when they tried to purchase their tickets, the ticket center was sold out. Now all we have to do is decide a day to go. I want to go on Sunday so I can still do yoga on Saturday.
Well somehow I missed a few days and I can't figure out where. Unfortunate. It has been really difficult to keep up this blog because I work all day and then come back to the apartment dead beat. All I want to do in the evening is relax while eating a meal before heading to bed.
Today felt like a rather productive day, though I did not work on my research one bit. We came to some depressing conclusions yesterday. Our analysis of the family of linear ODE's is not applicable to the family of non-linear ODE's. So we will only be reporting on the first half. Dr. Tamasan didn't have time to meet today so he said we will meet tomorrow to wrap up some theoretical work from way back. Then I will be responsible for typing up more work in LaTeX. The productive part of my day was that I spent time studying for the GRE. I worked examples all day long - well, about 6 hours total.
Stephanie, Melissa, and Vicky bought their Disney World tickets today so I am more relieved about going now. I bought mine last week because we had decided to go this past weekend, but when they tried to purchase their tickets, the ticket center was sold out. Now all we have to do is decide a day to go. I want to go on Sunday so I can still do yoga on Saturday.
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