Holidays Schmolidays

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I don't feel any different than I did before the holiday. I think I should. Mom and Dad drove down to visit John and me for the holiday this year, and it was the first Thanksgiving we had together in many, many years. I always call them on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and such, but I always feel that face time with my parents is more valuable. However, things have changed.

I feel weird around them now. Sure, I think about my parents from time to time, but I don't phone them as often I have in the past. When I do see my parents, I have trouble just talking and even worse... making polite conversation. I barely see them more than 3 times a year, and that's usually if there is a special reason.

I have recently been reading Carl Sagan's Contact novel, and the main character, Ellie, is much like myself; she's a workaholic who has terrible relationships and carelessly forgets to spend time with family. So I have asked myself some questions:

Am I estranging myself from my parents?
Slowly, yes, I believe so. Inadvertently, I began separating myself from my parents when I moved to Atlanta.

How did it come to this? Apparently, I have forgotten how to socialize with people, even my own parents. My parents are supposed to be the closest people to me, and now we are nearly strangers.

Would I ever move back to NC?
Probably not. By comparison, Atlanta has far more opportunities and has a culture I couldn't experience in NC. Plus, I don't think I could ever convince John to move, to NC at least; he is happy here with his friends and family.

Is there anything I can do to stop this feeling?
I don't feel like there is. Sure, I could call them more, but I can barely carry on a conversation with them in person much less on a phone.

I know someone out there would say "yes" - that I can stop this feeling, but at this point in my life, I can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Something that bothers me...

A while back, I had decided that I was going to start a "Things people do that annoy me..." list, but in trying to keep an optimistic view on life, I decided against it. However, I will mention this one curious behavior that some humans have a tendency to do. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but it can be quite frustrating.

Why is that when a group of people who are walking in the opposite direction of you on a sidewalk fail to share the sidewalk with you, a single person? Do they fail to notice me or do they just not care?

Birds

I like where my desk is. By a window. On sunny days and sometimes even wetter days, I like to open the blind as high as I can and watch the world go by as I type or read away. I like to make up stories of passers-by or animals or insects I see frolicking about. Birds especially love our yard after a fresh mowing.

I watched a bird today. A black bird. Have you ever been curious about a bird's actions? He (it's a he in my mind) would take a few steps and peck at the ground. Was he picking up some bug to eat or was he searching? Do birds actually poke their beaks into the ground for bugs or do they look before they peck? If birds look before they peck, then he was quite hungry. He pecked a path about 3 meters long. Birds must have large stomachs. =D