Holidays Schmolidays

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I don't feel any different than I did before the holiday. I think I should. Mom and Dad drove down to visit John and me for the holiday this year, and it was the first Thanksgiving we had together in many, many years. I always call them on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and such, but I always feel that face time with my parents is more valuable. However, things have changed.

I feel weird around them now. Sure, I think about my parents from time to time, but I don't phone them as often I have in the past. When I do see my parents, I have trouble just talking and even worse... making polite conversation. I barely see them more than 3 times a year, and that's usually if there is a special reason.

I have recently been reading Carl Sagan's Contact novel, and the main character, Ellie, is much like myself; she's a workaholic who has terrible relationships and carelessly forgets to spend time with family. So I have asked myself some questions:

Am I estranging myself from my parents?
Slowly, yes, I believe so. Inadvertently, I began separating myself from my parents when I moved to Atlanta.

How did it come to this? Apparently, I have forgotten how to socialize with people, even my own parents. My parents are supposed to be the closest people to me, and now we are nearly strangers.

Would I ever move back to NC?
Probably not. By comparison, Atlanta has far more opportunities and has a culture I couldn't experience in NC. Plus, I don't think I could ever convince John to move, to NC at least; he is happy here with his friends and family.

Is there anything I can do to stop this feeling?
I don't feel like there is. Sure, I could call them more, but I can barely carry on a conversation with them in person much less on a phone.

I know someone out there would say "yes" - that I can stop this feeling, but at this point in my life, I can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel.